Vrooom! That’s the sound airplanes make, right?
I just made my bed into a couch. How have I not done this before???
In just under a week things will change in my life. I’ll be setting off once again on a new stage of my life. A year ago I gave someone a promise and even though I can’t keep that promise to them I hope I’ll be able to fulfill it for myself. I have a lot to prove and I need to have some sort of closure. There are a lot of things that I wish had turned out differently. It’s been a really difficult year but I think it’s been the most defining year for me.
It’s really strange how some memories randomly jump back into your mind. While I’m sitting and writing this, I remember going on a trip to Taipei for holiday. This then brings me back to my first trip to Taipei which took place during a cross country event in high school. I remember we had to run on this ridiculous (to our minds) mountainous area. I also remember someone on the team who passed away a few years later. I think that’s the clearest memory I have of her.
I feel like this island which has been where I’ve lived on and off for a while now has recently been associated with a lot of negative memories for me. There have been a lot of deaths and some very bad break ups. It’s horrible how people can go from being very close to being nothing in such a short amount of time. Oh, and loneliness too.
There have been good times though. Just not enough.
I’ve also realized that I’m still very fragile (in all things related to the heart). There’s someone that I do have feelings for but I don’t know if things would ever develop further. Plus, I’m probably just not cool enough for her.
In the short term there will be a holiday, which I will accept with happiness, during which I can hopefully figure out some very important things and also clear my head. It will be good.